Another Baby Born in China

There were an estimated 8.5 million babies born in China last year, down from 10 million the previous year. At least a million fewer are expected for 2024. China’s birth rate may be dropping precipitously, but that’s still a lot of babies. And out of all of these millions of babies, there was one unique baby girl born this year who inspired a literal trip around the world for one particular grandmother to come to China to meet her.

My circumnavigation of the globe began in Washington DC with a flight to Texas, then Hawaii, then Guam. I was traveling West to go East. We stopped off in Guam for a spell to visit Bruce’s brother-in-law and his family, who have lived in tropical island bliss for the last ten years. They were gracious to share glimpses of their lives with us.

After ten days of sun, sand, and salt, Bruce and Jacob took their departure and I pressed on, flying west. Singapore. Hong Kong. Chengdu.

Three and a half years ago, our oldest son and his wife moved to China to teach math at Chengdu International School (CDIS). Yes, if you’re tracking that timeline, it was exactly in the middle of COVID. They actually were already in China, in the city of Nanchau on a one-year contract to teach English. They were planning to transition to teaching at CDIS in the summer, and blithely left China to visit our family in Ethiopia for Christmas 2019. They went from our house in Ethiopia to Leigha’s parent’s house in Kenya. They had carry-on luggage for two weeks. Then they got stranded in Kenya for half a year.

Many unexpected hurdles, COVID tests, international flights, and quarantines later, they arrived at their new jobs in Chengdu, via Virginia, where we all had the best possible COVID quarantine because we were all in it together. We haven’t seen them since that unexpected gift–the quarantine summer of 2020.

Now with our first grandchild on the horizon, we began to plan a way for me to go to such a far-off place and be there for the baby’s birth.

The baby was due on Jan. 3, and I planned to arrive on the 5th. I figured if anything, she’d be early (weren’t most first-time moms a bit on the early side?) and I’d probably arrive to a baby a few days old, and get there in time for night feedings and soothing walks down the hallway. I could help with the meals and the laundry. My assumptions were wrong–the average first-time mother, if left to Nature’s timing, is 12 days “late”.

I arrived to a very healthy, very pregnant Leigha, and a proud expectant father. Officially overdue, Leigha was on maternity leave until the end of the school year, and the school, strapped for teachers, had given her classes to … her husband!!

Leigha taught the upper level math classes–regular and AP physics and AP calculus–and Christian was cramming material he hadn’t looked at since college, as well as making video tutorials for when HE would be out on paternity leave and someone else would have to cover those tough classes. In the meantime, someone else was taking over his normal classes that were a bit easier to substitute–pre-algebra and middle school math. He was a bit stressed, to say the least! The school also had to find people to cover a volleyball tournament he would have been coaching, and a Robotics competition in Wuhan he had prepared his students for. And what would Leigha be doing next week if she weren’t having a baby? Managing the Science Fair that SDIS was hosting this year! It was immediately clear to me how invaluable this young couple was to their school. With both of them out, there were so many bases to cover, it risked looking like a bad version of Abbot and Costello’s Who’s On First!

I arrived on a Friday night, and we had the weekend to walk around their area of town, meet some of their neighbors, go to the Chinese noodle shop, and visit their international church, comprised mostly of West African graduate students. It was a pleasant surprise to experience an African-led worship service in the heart of this huge Chinese city! (Chinese citizens are not allowed to attend religious worship services that are not state sponsored, but international passport holders may attend their own worship services as long as they do not try to involve Chinese citizens.)

I kept expecting a baby to disrupt the weekend, but Monday morning arrived and still no baby, so we all went to school with Christian. Leigha kept hiding behind her hands and pretending to be invisible when discovered by her students–“Mrs. Stoltzfus! What are you doing here? I thought you were having a baby.” It was easily apparent that she, and well as her tall and lanky husband, were well loved by students, faculty, and staff.

I had just published my first children’s book, Watch Out, Woosha! and brought a stack of copies to have in the lobby. Very quickly I was invited to read the book at the Middle School Assembly! That was Tuesday. Then a teacher wondered if I would follow up the next day with a discussion about Ethiopia and East Africa in two sections of seventh grade geography, and the librarian wondered if I could read the book to a section of third graders, and a kindergarten teacher asked if I could share in her class! This was entirely unexpected, but I was able to present the book’s message in age-appropriate ways to the different language and learning levels, and it was a rich cross cultural experience for all of us.

And still no baby. Thursday evening Christian led a youth activity on the other side of town, and Leigha and I walked home from school together. Then she took me to a food street for supper at her favorite dumpling stand, and I took her to get a pedicure. After walking through the neighborhood, we went home and braved the stairs–but only to the 8th floor, where we gave up and took the elevator to their apartment on floor 16.

When Christian got home later in the evening, Leigha was having mild contractions. They called their doula, an American nurse with a long history in China. Lisa N. helps Western women give birth in the Chinese medical system, which defaults to medical interventions and scheduled, predictable C-sections. Christian and Leigha wanted to have their baby as naturally as possible, and Lisa was experienced in standing in the gap between Western and Eastern expectations. The general advice from Western colleagues who had given birth in China was to try to go through as much of the labor at home as possible, reducing the time spent in the hospital, and thus reducing the pressure for interventions, anesthesia, and the dreaded Convenient Cesarean Section. Laboring at home, however, poses the risk of miscalculating and accidentally having the baby in the back seat of a taxi cab, or worse yet, at home. Home births are illegal in China.

Lisa reminded them that contractions were usually about 20 minutes apart and lasted a minute or two. Contractions at shorter intervals (which these were) were probably false labor. Nevertheless, we all went to bed early just in case things would develop overnight.

By morning, something had changed. The contractions were still close together and not too strong, but neither impending parent had slept well (trying to log the contractions on an app) and Leigha was uncharacteristically subdued. She video conferenced with her family to help pass the time, all the while logging the progress on her maternity app. Yes, things have changed since I first became a parent 26 years ago!

Gradually the contractions got stronger, and I began to wonder if we missed the typical 20 minute intervals altogether, and they had progressed from false labor straight into get-to-the-hospital-NOW-labor? I began to feel like it was time. A phone consultation with Lisa confirmed that it was TIME. They had an overnight bag packed as well as baby’s first things, but it was a bit of a scramble to organize all the other odds and ends. A bunch of bottles of filtered water, in case the hospital didn’t have enough. About two gallons of Trail Mix, dried mangoes, dried plums, and other snacks. Some boiled eggs for protein. A plug-in air purifier (essentially a fan with a square filter strapped to it) because the air quality was chronically horrible and Christian wasn’t sure if the hospital filtered their air. An entire bag devoted to various cables and cell phone chargers. And the two huge blow-up maternity balls, one blue and peanut-shaped, and an enormous pink one that took two normal-sized arms to corral.

It’s hard to be inconspicuous when you’re an American calling a taxi in China, but it is VERY hard to be inconspicuous when you are incredibly tall, or blond, or blue-eyed, or pregnant, or in active labor, or are carrying an enormous pink yoga ball. We ticked all six boxes and then some. I suddenly became acutely aware of the Chinese preference for no-drama deliveries where there was no labor, no screaming, no last-minute taxi rides to the hospital, no inconvenient flood of waters.

Christian supported Leigha (who I must note never screamed once, or uttered much more than “ow”) with one arm, and wrapped the other long arm around the yoga ball, and somehow managed to have a hand free to navigate the taxi on his phone. We stashed what we could fit in the trunk, but the pink yoga ball wouldn’t go in there. The impending parents took up the back seat, and I was left to try to fit the yoga ball into the front seat with me. I squished the ball over against the driver, knocking his rear view mirror out of whack, and tried to slide in underneath it. The driver started talking quickly and loudly in Chinese and the ball was re-positioned in the back seat, squishing Christian and Leigha into the opposite corner. And off we went. It was 10:30 in the morning.

When we arrived at Maria Maternity Hospital, Lisa met us and took Leigha to be evaluated. It was confirmed–she was ready to transition to the second stage of labor and could be admitted directly into the delivery room. Baby was coming!

Christian and Leigha went upstairs to Labor and Delivery, and I went to the recovery room to wait. After a bit I went to explore what a Chinese/Western maternity hospital in a major metropolitan city was all about.

Can’t say it was what I expected, although I had no expectations other than many of CnL’s friends had delivered at this hospital and recommended it. The place was clean and spacious and definitely seemed to cater to Westerners. It was whimsically decorated with ceramic gnomes and classical, white-people artwork. CnL sensibly had reserved a VIP suite which had two rooms with a private bath. The toilet had one of those advancing sleeves of crinkly plastic film that at the press of a button marched around the toilet seat to present a clean surface for every use. In the bigger bedroom was a tidy baby bassinet and an adjustable double bed. They did indeed have an air purifier, tucked into a corner unplugged, and the window was open. The AQI has been hovering above 200 since I’ve arrived, the skies looking overcast as if expecting a blizzard, but temps steady in the upper 50s. I closed the window, shutting out the “fresh” air and plugged in the purifier.

I scrolled through my phone. Everyone in the US was sleeping. There was no-one to keep vigil with me. I wished I had brought along my computer. I tried to nap. I wished I had brought my book. I texted Christian. No answer. I went for a walk.

When I got back a bit before 5, I got the call–she had arrived! Mom and baby were doing well. I was sorting through the details of timing (4:36), weight (3.14 kg, fitting for the math nerds they are) and all the things, when Christian said, “Do you want to just come up? They say you can come up.” I bounded down the hallway to the elevator.

This incredible image was taken by Christian within a few minute of Naomi Elizabeth’s arrival, and is one of those tender captures that says more than I could ever put into words. Even now, several days later, it brings me to tears. It shows the exhaustion of labor, and the rest that comes from knowing the job was well done. Naomi’s eyes are open, and you can just imagine her little heart and lungs oxygenating her blood, her delicate blue skin a testament to how hard she has had to work to recover from the squeeze of birth. Well done, little girl. Well done, Mama. Well done, Daddy.

From here on, it’s all just pictures. These are all from the first day, which is a fleeting stage few people other than parents and medical personnel get to see. I was honored to be able to be there to take the photos. It’s an interesting and uncertain world you’re entering little Naomi Elizabeth. But for you and for now, it is a world of wonder and of love. May that sustain you for a lifetime, and through all that is to come.

One final thing. In honor of her birth, we made a donation to Mennonite Central Committee with the following note:

A Wish for Naomi Elizabeth, on the occasion of her birth on January 12, 2024. She was born to Christian and Leigha Stoltzfus in Chengdu China. We offer this donation in recognition of all the babies who will be born this year into places of conflict and hunger. May we learn to do more and do better for all our children.